It's time for Clete to finally talk to the last inhabitant on the Island, the Sea Witch. Will he EVER make it back to his hammock to avoid Qi's justice? What do you think? I think he'll be kidnapped by sea monsters next ... how's that? Anyway,
The story continues ...
“Follow
me Professor Wong, she said.
We took a path deeper into The Grove. I heard the Islanders sometimes
referred to it as The Orchard but there were only some trees that bore edible nuts
or fruit. From the vantage point of the ground I could see the layout was more
like a plantation. I had only gotten a glimpse of this area when I had tumbled
into it from the hillside a couple weeks ago. Trees of like kind had been
planted in rows and columns long ago. Disease, death, lightning strikes, and some
timbering had obviously taken out many of the planned specimens, but other saplings
had come up in the gaps and were competing for space, water, and light (and
mostly losing).
There was an area deep in the middle that had been
intentionally kept clear and on that spot was constructed a small building. The
building was of Japanese architectural influence with sliding lattice-paneled
doors all about. There was an outdoor wooden tub filled with water heated with
a charcoal burner. It all looked so much like a standard cannibal cartoon that
I could not resist making a snide comment.
“Geez. When you said you were having me
for tea, I wasn’t expecting to be the main course.”
“Excuse?”
She did not get it at first. “Sorry, bad
joke.”
She thought a moment and then got it. “You think this is a cooking pot? How droll.
I assure you, unlike all other Pacific Island cultures, Dog Island—both The
Center and The Empire—never practiced ritual cannibalism. We have never waged war, and
we have readily accepted all who come and adapt.”
“Were you preparing a bath for yourself then?”
“It was prepared for you.
You are in need of it.”
“I don’t understand. It takes Lum and Na a
lot of preparation time to draw a bath. Were you expecting me?”
“They are not as skilled as
me. I come from a more highly developed culture of ritual bathing. But yes, I
expected you to arrive just about now.”
“So you predict the future? I guess they
don’t call you the Sea Witch for nuthin’ eh?”
“I don’t really know what they call me
behind my back.”
“From what I can tell it’s probably
something along the lines of ‘The gal whose job title starts with ‘W’ and
rhymes with ‘bitch.’”
“Is that so?”
“Shit, don’t look so deadpan. I know you
have a mask on and all, but I’m kidding.”
“Are ever serious about
anything Wong-Hakase?”
“I used to be. In case you didn’t notice,
the world is absurd.”
“Are you looking for it to
make sense?”
“No. I stopped. But the animosity between
you and the others I’m alluding to is real. What’s going on here between you
and them?”
“You will learn the answer
when the time is ripe. Remove all clothing and please sit on the bench. I will
clear you of all vermin before you bathe.”
She proceeded to use a small scraper against my skin and ran
a fine-tooth comb to remove the remaining opportunistic hitchhiking bugs that Ting
Ting had missed. What surprised me was how few there were. All that the witch
managed to pull of were either dead or immobile, or eggs. Was it possible that
Ting Ting commanded the bugs here?
“Repeat these words after
me.” She recited some sort of incantation in some language, but could not
tell what it was. I saw no reason to oppose her.
“What was that?”
“A prayer to the small creatures
that crawl and fly. You requested that they only come onto you when invited.”
“Why did you make me say that?”
“For your comfort. I see
that you have been bitten many times.”
“I didn’t ask for that. Does that even
work?”
“You are the one who can
answer that. I made it a polite petition. Not a command. Simply issue another
petition.”
“Hey, the centipede is OK though. And her kin.”
“Excuse me?”
“Scarlet.”
“Ah? You named a centipede. Are
you sure about that?”
“Yeah, I’ve come to like her. Nobody likes
centipedes. They’re scary to most. But she and I coexist.”
“What I mean to say, do you
really believe that centipedes can understand you? You must be addressing her directly
if you troubled to name her.”
“I don’t know what I believe on this
island anymore. Why are you asking that question? You just had me pray to bugs
yourself! What the hell kind of shit are you pullin’ here?”
“You are calling what I do
‘shit?’”
“Look, I’m not trying to be rude.”
“You don’t have to try. It seems
to come quite naturally to you.”
“Is everybody here on this Island a
semanticist?”
“Language
facility is a deep tradition here. I am merely asking you if you are saying
what you truly believe.”
“You mean whether the creatures here abide
by what I might ask them to do?”
“Depends on the requestor. I
believe it. So does Ting Ting. I wonder if you do.”
“I don’t know what the fuck NOT to believe
on this island anymore. I’m … just making sure my little leggy friend Scarlet
is not afraid of me if this shit is on the level. If she bites me, it is going
to hurt.”
“She is invited then. Your
bath is ready. Into the bath please. I will wash your hair.
“You really don’t have to bother,” I said.
“I need you to purify before
we take tea.”
“Purify? Why?”
“You have spent the last
three days with Qi and now Ting Ting. Those girls are filthy. Qi especially.
You can smell her at 500 meters.”
“You’re right. But I’ve kinda got used to
her. The rainstorm helped a lot, rinsed off a lot of her … um, organic coating.
You know she has a water allergy right?”
“A WATER ALLERGY! How
ridiculous! She told that and you believe her? Why do you defend her? She’s
been very cruel to you.”
“I don’t know. She’s been harsh, sure, but
there seems to be some concern on her part to redeem me in her own twisted way.
She always seems to stop before going off the deep end. I suspect living in a
single-sex community for too long has created a lot of mental pathology in her.”
“She did not limit herself.
She tried to drown you. In my domain even, the Sea.”
“But
I didn’t drown in the sea and I don’t know why. Was that your doing?”
“So you believe I control
the Sea then? It’s not very scientific of you.”
“The people we called witches in centuries
past were natural scientists in a lot of ways. I’m open about alternative ways
of knowing. Tell me what you did and how you did it and maybe I’ll believe.”
“I did not intervene in your ordeal. I did
not need to. Enough. Into the tub please.”
I relented. I ascended a short ladder to enter the bath tub
and eased myself into the heated water. It was perfect. She poured some sort of
pungent tonic on my hair and carefully worked it down to the scalp. Again she
passed the comb through my hair another time searching for nits she had missed
earlier. She then applied some sort of soap and lathered my hair, rinsed me,
and then left me to soak for a few minutes. The warm water took away all of the
stresses I had accumulated from my earlier exertions.
“Please exit and stand. She ordered me
about.”
Rather than hand me a towel, she dried me off herself,
starting from the top and working her way down to my feet. Once dried, she
started massaging me from the feet up, fingers finding pressure points all
along the way, ending with a vigorous scalp massage. She got down on her knees
in front of me, grabbed my balls and started to squeeze gently.
“Is that really necessary?”
“I am palpating your testicles to assess
your masculine health. Did my daughter not tell you I am the chief medical
officer of Dog Island?”
“She did.”
“If this makes you uncomfortable I will
stop.”
“Just remember that’s a sensitive spot. I
didn’t come here for a urological exam.”
“Why did you come here?”
“Well, we were kind of avoiding you.
Though I’m not sure why. This was supposed to be a shortcut.”
“One of the princesses
inquired after your health—that you seemed to be extremely lacking in Yang
energy. She thought it might be at the root of your disagreeable behavior. I
told her that if I had the opportunity, I would examine you.”
“I am not disagreeable. Who said that?”
“I am not free to expose
her.”
“It’s
Lee isn’t it?”
“It was NOT Lee.”
“Well that sure cuts it down. Meh! Continue
your exam. Just … not so hard.”
She reached behind and put her fingers on several points on
the small of my back, pressing firmly. Then she set one finger somewhere
between where my testicles ended and my anus and rubbed gently. It was
embarrassing because I started to have an erection. She paid my aroused state
never no mind and then she palpated my erect penis. Her detached
professionalism in the handling of male sex organs tempted me to go back to Sally’s
theory that this was the Island of Whores.
Note: Ting Ting, who assisted me preparing this report,
asked me if I knew the word for “testicles” or “palpate” in Japanese, because
she did not know them herself. I told her her “no.” She asked if we had
switched to speaking in English. Again I told her no. She asked how we could
have such a high-level conversation in a language in which she had heard that
only sounded like a six-year-old. I said that I knew Japanese borrows a lot of
English words, so that was probably it. She was unconvinced. But it made me
notice that the more I spoke English on the Island, the better all the
princesses seemed to get. I figured it was some kind of immersion effect and
dismissed it at that, but then I said “kintama”
and “shokushin suru” without
thinking, and Ting Ting just nodded that she got it.
“It is very clear to me you
have no lack of Yang or Qi.”
“You know, I said, if you run seminars teaching
that technique, you can make a LOT of money from middle-aged couples.”
“Your arousal is not all my
doing. You have been spent a lot of time today looking at Hime-sama.”
“Who? Ting Ting?”
“She is filthy, but she IS a
beautiful woman. She has been showing you her unclothed body all day.”
“Hmmm. Now that you mention it. I guess
so. If I were going to try to deconstruct why she is attractive, I’d say her
legs are like a dancer’s, firm and highly defined. All of her limbs actually.
Very shapely. And her hair, it’s got that black, glossy sheen of a woman much
younger than she. Oh and her tummy, it’s not at all like 50-something who are
kinda pooched out …”
“Hakase! I do not need to
hear any more of that. And I prefer not to.”
“Oh? Sorry. But really, even if I did, I
try to keep that kind of thing sublimated. Especially when wearing that
Japanese underwea … Oh shit! My eggs!” I said realizing I had misplaced them.”
“I set them in the dish. It’s
obvious you were keeping them warm with your body. The bath water has kept them
warm all this time.”
Sure enough, there was an attachment to the tub that held
the eggs submerged in the warm water.
“These are not mine! They’re red.”
“They are the same.”
“They’re like lobsters or crawfish that go
red when cooked? These are dead!”
“Truth be told, I have never
seen this happen before.”
“Shit! Qi is not going to believe this.”
“And what if she doesn’t?”
“She’s gonna think I swapped them out.”
“And what if she does?”
“She’ll cut off my goddamned finger! I even
agreed to it.”
“You just told me she always
stops short of permanently hurting you.”
“OK! You win. I’m remembering her
irrationality now.”
“The brown markings will
tell her they are the same. Do not concern yourself with Qi’s eccentricities. I
will protect you from her if need be. You need only call for me. You say these eggs are dead?”
“Qi says so. I’m not a biologist. You
disagree?”
“The nature of eggs is to
look dead, like all seeds. That is why they are a symbol of resurrection or
reincarnation. Please dress.”
She handed me a robe of rough flax-like cloth to put on. She
tied it properly with a thick belt about my middle. Could the Sea Witch really
protect me from Qi’s excesses? I wasn’t so sure, her guarantee of protection
was given off-hand, but it was comforting to hear. All the Princesses, firsts
and seconds, seemed to fear her. Ting Ting was put at bay with the Witch just
raising a bamboo pole in opposition. The Witch motioned me not to one of the
sliding doors, but rather to a small opening on the side of the building. It
was a small door, really more like a trap door.
“We go inside. Follow me.”
© Copyright 2012 by
Vincent Way, all rights reserved.
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Be truthful and frank, but be polite. If you use excessive profanity, I'll assume you have some kind of character flaw like Dr. Wong. Tks!