Part 7: Cinderella and the Great Prince of Southern China

A bad day goes worse for Three. Check it out ...
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“Doesn’t Anybody Have Cash Around Here?”

            Red Beard, a captain of the palace eunuchs, completed his regular inventory of the princesses’ quarters. All was in good order except for a missing pendant from the Seventh Princess’ boudoir. Its absence was notable because the Seventh, as he called her, never wore jewelry except on ceremonial occasions, and only when directed by her mother. Red Beard stood seven feet tall and was a fearsome presence in any company. His eye for detail was unmatched. The Seventh was problematic. She was one to hide things. It had always been a game with her to sneak things past his attention. He patrolled the sitting chamber where she sat conversing with her attendant.

            His keen eyesight detected that the Seventh had on a pendant with a dog motif, but it was different—it had five dogs and the central jewel was blue. Was he remembering wrong? No. What did this mean? Should he ask? No. The Seventh was evasive and tricky and would probably not disclose the truth anyway. The first conjecture was that she had a cheap decoy made to raise funds by selling the original. No. That was not the Seventh’s proclivity. The next conjecture was that she had given it to a friend, or maybe a lover? Perhaps. The lady is still young. And willful. It may be nothing, she has so many items of jewelry. Does it matter to anyone else? Probably not. And yet, he would have to report an asset loss during his shift of responsibility. That would not do. In all of his time assigned to property inventory, NOTHING had ever gone unaccounted for.

            He decided he would investigate without the Seventh’s awareness and determine the explanation independently. He returned to the Office of the Eunuch and summoned his primary street contact to run intelligence.

            Red Beard’s capital street network was comprehensive and quick. Only two hours later a report came back from a courtesan at the Red Lantern Inn that a drunken army officer was wearing something matching that description. Red Beard knew that it was always a risk for a man of his size to appear anywhere, but he could not trust this to anyone else.

            The Red Lantern doormen waved him in. He took a seat in a dark corner where he could survey the main hall. The noise from a loud group of fellows caught his ear; he rose and approached. Then he saw it, a glint of reflected light caught a golden pendant. He need not look closer as he had seen it many times. It was around the neck of General Zuo. The general had been presented to the imperial security forces days earlier upon his arrival in the capital in an elaborate ceremony. This is the man the Seventh would marry in a few days.  A personal gift exchange between future spouses was highly reasonable. Red Beard did not full understand upper-class gift giving-rituals nor would he try. He left all of that to the protocol officers.

            It made a sort of sense, so Red Beard resolved to return to the palace, but a steward enticed him to be seated and enjoy a lovely pot of tea on the house—they knew better than to offer strong drink to the always sober captain.  As he poured a cup from the pot’s second steeping, it was remarkably refreshing, the thought occurred to him that no return gift in exchange had be recorded by the “Blue Hands”—the meticulous palace scribes whose hands and sleeves were always stained with ink—into the Seventh’s inventory. So how did she come by this thing that looked like an extremely incompetently executed decoy—this “false” necklace. Other than her own banquet, she had had no opportunities to make a switch. He gave the steward a note and went to find the latrine. He returned to his table just as a certain courtesan was clearing his place.

            “Would you like anything else, Captain?” she asked.

            “How long has that officer been here?”

            “Three days.”

            “Does he go out?”

            “Only once earlier today, to chase down a dice cheat. I have no idea why. Nearly all of our customers are cheaters so it’s a given. And the boss said he has an unlimited tab.”

            “Has he had any visitors?”

            “None. Oh, I get it. He’s a major crime boss isn’t he?”

            Red Beard broke into an uncharacteristic smile at that remark. “You don’t know who he is?”

            “The boss said it’s a secret. Who is he really?”

            Red Beard watched the general repeatedly handle the pendant and then look sternly and intently at the entrance. He was expecting someone. On the other hand, the Seventh fondled her pendant and when she did, she looked into herself, harboring a warm, deep smile—the look of one recalling a lover. These did not add up to the captain.

            “No more questions, no more answers. Continue to treat him like the VIP he is. I’ve decided I will stay here a while.”

* * *

            Back at the residence of Headmaster Wu, there was an uproar in the guest quarters. Three was raging at his attendants. “Who could have possibly taken it?” he yelled. “What do I pay you guys for?” The strongbox holding all of Three’s funds for the capital trip was missing. It had not been seen since it was taken off the ship. Backie had confidentially questioned the first steward in a roundabout way, but it was a total mystery what had become of the strongbox—inside-job pilferage was Backie’s conjecture. “How are we supposed to get home? Idiots!”

            “I’m terribly sorry, Master Three,” said Lucky. “It was my responsibility. I should have kept it with me at all times. But those youngsters were so quick about it. I submit myself to your corporal punishment at this time,” said the retainer as he got down on his knees and exposed his freckled and feeble-looking back.

            “Lucky! Be serious. Get up. That will not help matters,” said Three. “If I whipped you, then I’d have to go out and buy bandages with money I don’t have. It would exacerbate my losses. Sigh. Plus, we only came here so you could restore your back and joints.”

            “Why don’t we ask the Professor if we can do a full search of the house?” asked Backie.

            “Right. We agree to be guests in a scholar’s house and then accuse the host of robbing us. That’ll look really good and enhance my father’s reputation here in the capital.” Three sat and thought a good bit. It was a relief to be free of Fart Toad for the time being. The trip down to the docks had left the girl tired from all the excitement and the sun exposure, and she had gone down for a nap. Nurse too had taken to bed with an extreme stress headache. “We’ve still got the casks of pepper,” said Three. “I was going to sell them halfway to home, but it looks like we need to do it now. Backie, get a pull wagon and load the pepper. I’ll meet you down on the street where all the wholesale merchant warehouses are.”

            Three made his rounds up and down the warehouse district offering his six types of pepper, garnering great interest by nearly every buyer, but to a man, none of them had the cash on hand to seal any deal, even when Three was willing to drop the price significantly.

            One jobber told him, “The last two weeks everybody is working on letters of credit, futures contracts, and reputation. All commercial cash has moved out of the city due to massive product inflows due to purchases made for the wedding. When the contracts are settled, all the cash will come back in. Do you know anybody in the imperial treasury?” suggested the jobber on learning Three was a noble’s son. “If your father’s name, that of the Duke, has influence, you probably could execute a bond and raise cash that way. Me? I have no such connections.”

            Three recalled the nasty run-in he had with Minister Long at the Princess Banquet and was now doubly sorry that bridge had been burnt. He knew Long would not approve of any instrument that funded service of a gambling debt. Seeing how he’d exhausted his options with the pepper (outside of buying a street vendor’s license and trying to sell it bit by bit to home cooks for cash—retail is so degrading and would take too long), so he cut a credit contract with the jobber, delivered the goods, and returned to the Academy, still without cash. On the walk back he wondered if ol’ “Sergeant Glint” would trade the pendant for a sales contract from a longstanding merchant with a physical plant in the city, but decided that secondary paper markets were too much for a man who best thought in tangibles like precious metals and commodity products.

            Knowing when to give up is as important in business as knowing when to strike, and Three decided it was time to give up on retrieving Qi’s pendant. He took a seat in the Headmaster’s scenic garden courtyard to think over what had happened that day. Toad awoke, dressed, and took her place next to him, tightly grasping his robe. Three thought she had show remarkable restraint in holding back her constant gas-letting—he made a note to have a word with the cook about altering her diet. It surprised him that rather than annoyance, her cloying presence was oddly comforting toward the end of a day when constant rejection seemed to be the rule.

            [Latin] If it makes you feel better, go ahead and take off the peasant outfit. At least one of us should be happy,” said Three.

            [Bengali] “Let’s go to an Indian tongue for practice, shall we? No. I will remain dressed.”

            “Why?”

            “My doing that makes you feel uncomfortable.”

            “Why the hell do you care?”

            “I decided after watching you today, I want to be like you.”

            “Forget it. It’s not a good way of life.”

            “You’re smart. You know a lot. But you know how to use it to get out of trouble. And you seem to have interesting friends. The way I live, I don’t have any friends.”

            “You want friends?”

            “I think I do.”

            “Don’t. They just want things from you. And then they fail you when you depend on them.”

            “You’re confusing friends with family.”

            “Touche girl.”

            “You’re very sad right now. It makes me sad.”

            “Get used to it. Sadness is a major part of life. Luckily it’s only a feeling, and feelings come and go.”

            “Why are you sad? Is it because of that necklace you had to give up to that big soldier man?”

            “Yeah. But it’s just a thing. The thing that it represents will be inside me always. So I’m OK.”

            “What thing?”

            “The memory of the pretty lady who gave it to me.”

            “Oh.” Long silence. “You like her?”

            “Yeah, a lot.”

            “Why?”

            “She cooks.”

            “Oh.” Long silence. “She cooks well?”

            “She’s great at it.”

            Toad thought hard for anything she might be great at. “Would you like to hear me play some music?”

            “Music? What do you play?”

            “Father is teaching me the guqin. I play it for him when he is sad. It seems to help him.”

            “I would like to hear you play then.”

            She left and then returned with her father’s long, wooden, hollow stringed instrument. She set it up on its stand and then proceeded to pull notes out of the air that mimicked exactly the sadness that he was feeling at that moment. Then, once she seemed to be on his emotional wavelength, she modulated the tone and mood to something more peaceful. Three was about to stop her and ask how she did that, but first steward Blessing entered the courtyard and interrupted his thought. Toad continued to play.

            “Excuse me for barging in Miss, Mr. Wang? A man named Anto is here to see you?”

            “Do you mind bringing him to me? My legs are quite sore and tired.”

            “Not at all sir.” Momentarily Anto was brought into the garden.

            “Any luck raising the 200 silver?” asked Three.

            “I may as well sail home,” said Anto.

            “Wherever ‘home’ is to you,” said Three.

            “Mister Straight-Arrow Military Man told the police to keep an eye on me and I have been under constant watch. I can’t do a thing to …,” he stopped and looked at Toad. “Who is she? Is she safe?”

            “The little Lady Phoenix, my newest companion. Don’t mind her. She’s a deaf mute and therefore the only discreet woman in the capital.”

            “I AM NOT!” protested Toad.

            “I suppose not. Lady Phoenix, Anto the seaman. Anto, the esteemed first daughter of this house.”

            “A pleasure,” said Anto. Toad blushed and immediately went back to her playing.

            “Don’t worry about her. She knows you’re a pirate. If you’re here to discuss loan repayment, I’m charging you the usual interest. Unless I think of some project you can assist me with.”

            “Sorry about all this Raja.”

            “No sweat. It’s only money. We can always make more. Stay out of trouble. I can’t afford any more of your having fun. If I were you, I’d go back to my ship and sleep.” Anto bid his farewell and left.

            “He really IS a pirate then? That must be good friend to have.”

            “Not really. Your playing is exquisite by the way.”

            Toad buried her head into her arms and chest as if to hide.

            “Don’t cringe. The polite response,” said Three, “would be to say ‘Thank you.’ Try it.”

            “Thank you.”

            “Atta girl. Say, you didn’t get that out to play because you’re jealous of the girl who gave me the necklace, and you wanted to show me something you could shine on, did you?”

            “NO.”

            “Just checking. You know, it’s a sign of a mature and secure relationship when you can let your beloved have friends of the opposite sex.”

            “Who said you’re my beloved?”

            “I didn’t say anything. But here I was starting think you might actually be starting to like me. Guess I’m wrong. But just in case, ‘Necklace Girl’ has first call. I’m trying to get her to marry me. I’m being honest with you. You value that in a relationship don’t you?”

            “You are being very weird.”

            “Don’t you talk to me about being weird, you oddball, acrobat, nudist, she-demon, you.”

            “If you’re trying to get me to dislike you, it’s not going to work.”

            “What will work?”

            “Act like everybody else.”

            “Sorry kid, no can do. I can only act like me. Hey, thanks for tipping me off earlier, back on the street. I had two chances to muck things up and start a street war and you and Nursie stopped me.”

            “Tell me that I am smart then.”

            “Kid, you are all kinds of smart.”

            “Tell me that I am absolutely brilliant.”

            “Can’t do that. You’ll get a big face full of yourself. You ought to know that we aren’t allowed to give people younger than us compliments. It’s against every Chinese law I can think of.”

            This made Toad laugh. “Stop being funny. And anyway, that law only applies to parents. You can praise me as much as you want.”

            “Stop being funny eh? If you don’t let me laugh at myself, I’ll start to cry.”

            “You know how you can thank me for helping you?”

            “Do tell.”

            “Don’t marry Necklace Girl. I’m better than her. Wait for me.”

            “I don’t have that long. Stick with men closer to your age. Trust me on that. Being with me might seem like a good idea right now, but by the time you’re old enough for me, I’ll be halfway in the grave and unable to pitch a tent. And that will be no fun at all. Talk about sad.”

            “What are you talking about?”

            “Oh, that’s right, you’re 14. Marriage is only an emotional concept for you. There are many mechanical aspects to it.”

            “You know if you ask my father for 200 silver, he’d give it to you. I can even lend it to you from my dowry.”

            “It’s not his affair, nor yours. And don’t you ask him either. It will make me a very rude guest.”

            “Don’t go away.”

            “Where would I go? I’m broke. I’m just sponging room and board off your dad until the royal wedding’s over and a client can pay me off.” Three’s self-pitying words did not interest Toad as she did not stay around to hear them. She spoke to one of the servants, disappeared for a while eventually returning to her place on the garden bench beside Three.

            “Now we wait,” she said.

            “For what?”

            “An answer, but if there is no answer it means we at least tried and that is fine.” And so the unlikely pair were content just to sit silently together listening to the sound of falling water from the garden’s fountains. At length, the servant returned with a note. Toad read it and smiled. She handed it to Three.

            My dear, dear South Phoenix,

            Simply fabulous! Bring him over and everything he’s got. Now.

                        -Whispering Pine

            “What’s all this?”

            “He’s a neighbor. I had a porter take your red and white checkered robe to this man and said you had more like it to sell.”

            “What? My red and white! I love it. You gave it away?”

            “You want that awful, ugly dog pendant back don’t you? Even though it is from my chief rival, I decided to help Three because I am going to be the one to make Three smile today.”

                                 © 2012 by Vincent Way, all rights reserved.