Sunday, April 13, 2014

Three Loves Seven, Chapter 10, Part 2 - "Fei and Me"


Hello Gentle Readers,

Today we continue our story and Clete gets to interact with nearly the entire younger generation of Dog Island. His observations about teaching and classroom dynamics are essentially some of my observations about teaching that I have done over my career.

He thinks he knows what one young woman thinks (with all his experience and what not) but he's totally off. Point being, you never really know what anyone else thinks. So don't get cocky.

Love,
Pops

Chapter 10 continued.


The floor was covered with mats made of finely woven grassy fibers. Lining the walls were bookcases on all sides. I had a slate chalkboard. There was a box on a table that had chalk, not sticks but chunks apparently gathered from some natural source on the Island.

Since Qin Qin had told me she had not had a teacher in a long time, I was expecting a rather neglected and dusty learning facility, but it was pristinely clean. Someone had readied it in anticipation of my being here.

The girls were all sitting around, already in their places, chatting with one another in lively fashion.  They all had on the usual black and white uniform except Qin Qin who had was wearing her usual random-parts western clothing wardrobe.

Lian told me the protectorate would drop off a "CARE" package of clothes every now and then. The Islanders all disdained the contents as all-too-presumptive charity which insulted them, she told me, preferring their own homespun and homemade goods. Qin was the only one who deigned to wear anything that had been donated, but I think mostly things only fit her. All the other things made from cloth were deconstructed into more useful parts or turned into rags for cleaning.

The only student name blocks I could read with my limited literacy were "Xiaomei" (whom I already knew, seated front row, right--meaning "Little Beauty" if I remember correctly) and "Ba" (that girl was named the number eight? seated back row, middle--that was the #8 desk too). Ling, whom I knew was the eldest was front row, left. Qin Qin was back row, right, and I knew she was the youngest. So the order was Ling, Nu, Xiaomei, Wen, Fei, Jie, [don't know that one], Ba (Eight), and Qin Qin.

Ling sprang to her feet and yelled something, I think it was in Japanese. All girls stood at their desks. She yelled something else and they all bowed. At a third word, they all sat primly at their places in full attention. I then remembered that Lee had said their last assigned teacher was Japanese, Yamada Sensei, or something like that.

I made my usual undergraduate classroom introduction (that level seemed about right), presenting myself as "Dr. Wong" remembering their custom of formality here, or they could just address me as "Teacher" or "Professor." I shared a little about my educational and work background, but they seemed to be a bit blank. But that's to be expected. Their world is a little small.

One thing you notice about them when they're all together as a group is their hair. It was all loose. As soon as Ling and Qin Qin hit quitting time, their hair came untied. So it was here. Long, luxurious, shiny, young-woman hair. Color ranging from deep black to red-brown. The two girls in the back had wiry, almost nappy hair of that pure polynesian type that kind of exploded about their heads. And they played with their hair. And it was in their eyes. And even I noticed they had tons of split ends. It was like an unkempt hedge. I wanted to grab some scissors and cut it all back into neat order. And they were all small like their mothers. They all tended to thinness, except my two "polynesian" girls in back who both looked solidly muscular and sturdy by comparison to the rest.

I almost on reflex kicked into "intensive-summer-session mode," where a college hires you to teach a full 5-unit course in summer over six weeks, meeting a 4-5 days a week for about the length of a workday. It's grueling on the teacher and the student, but you pick up a few bucks in an otherwise fallow time of year. You get all the students who failed to graduate or make scholarship retention requirements because of a bad grade or a missing course and it's now makeup time. So they're HIGHLY motivated. To be honest, if you take these gigs, you tend to grade a little easier since you feel sorry for them, and for yourself as you struggle through the ordeal together.

It was time to thin the seedlings though. This was NOT a summer intensive. It was a goddamned SAT Prep class for God's sake that I had been manipulated into. And so I found myself in the perverse place of trying create student attrition. Feng agreed to volunteers only. If I can get it to down to three, Xiaomei, Wen, and only one more, this won't be so painful.

     "Before I have you all go to the trouble of introducing yourselves, let's go over what we're trying to accomplish. I have been asked to tutor you all so that are able to get a qualifying score on a college entrance exam that will meet the requirements of a school like the University of California. Those exams are basically math, English, and logical problem solving.
     "I will not be teaching any of those per se. I'm going to teach you how to take tests on those subjects. And I'm going to do it mostly by teaching you how to think like a teacher and how to write tests. In the meantime, we will wind up reviewing those subjects anyway. So if you have any deficiencies in those subjects, we'll address as we go. Is that all clear? I'm not teaching you math and English and logic. I'm teaching you how to take an exam." They all looked at each other and then at me, and nodded.
     "Excellent," I continued. "One other thing. I am running an American classroom. I expect you to speak your own minds--I do NOT want you saying things you think your parents or others would have you speak unless they agree with your thinking. Is THAT clear?" More nods.
     "Last thing before we start, anyone who prefers not to be here is free to go right now. Nobody stays against their will. If what I have said does not sound useful to you, let me know now." I did not expect all eyes to turn to the girl smack-dab in the middle, Fei--Qi's daughter, the one who assisted killing the pig.
     "What? Why are you all looking at me?" she said.
     "She thinks you're a waste of time," said Qin Qin.
     "Shh," I said. "What did I just say? Nobody put your expectations on anyone else."
     "So we can say anything we want?" asked Fei. "Whatever I'm thinking?"
     "uh...Yep," I said.
     "Well, she's right," said Fei, "for once... I do NOT want to be here. My mother told me I had to come, and my aunties, so here I am. I can't see any use for this at all. I have other work to do. I am never going to apply to college. This is my time to rest."
     "OK then. Part of my agreement is that nobody HAS to be here. You're free to go and do whatever you want. Thank you. Anyone else?" Nobody moved or said a thing. "By the way, this will remain true for the duration of the course. You're free to leave any time you decide this is a waste of time, but once you leave, don't come back." I turned my gaze back to Fei, crossed my arms, and waited.
     "Wait, that's it? Aren't you going to try to talk me into it?"
     "Nope."
     "But from all the things I've heard about you, I thought you'd at least try."

Now that attention had been drawn to her, it did not surprise me that she would be one to bolt. This girl had mastered the officious attitude that both Mu and Feng were great at. In fact, her whole mien was like that of a spoon-fed, pampered scion daughter of a Seoul IT billionaire, who I've had in classes before. How was it possible to raise such girl here? And one who herds pigs for Crissakes.

Her body language though politely posed,  had her placed at angles slightly askew, indicating to me dismissiveness and one going through the motions. It was apropos that she was sitting in the middle, the very center of activity and organization because now that I took a close look at her, she embodied the pinnacle of scientific beauty in that she was absolutely symmetrical. She was nearly perfectly formed, a flawless complexion, straight teeth, and the prettiest facially of all of them, at least by American standards. Back in on any L.A. school campus she would have a flock of males around her. And now that I thought of it, her mother, the dusky, musky Qi, was similarly physically gifted.

     "So what have you heard about me? Do tell."
     A pause. "Nothing."
     "Don't take other's word about me. Observe for yourself and draw your own conclusion. But you don't want to be here, and therefore I don't want you here either. Get out."
     "What?"
     "I said, get ... out." She seemed stunned by that order. They all did. She didn't know what to do next. "I have very little time left here on this Island. I am only going to concentrate on the willing, like Xiaomei. Anyone else would just be a drag. You don't belong here. Please leave."
     "A drag? This is so rude. Aren't you even going to ask my name?"
     "If you're leaving, why should I bother? But I know you're Fei, daughter of Qi, the Chi-lin Guardian Princess of the West if I remember correctly. I did take mental notes after the meeting. And you were present at the pig killing today."
     "I'm a Second Princess of this Island. I am royalty. I am of age. I think I deserve a little more respect than that."
     "Fine, fine, your royal highness. I'll kiss your goddamned ring if it'll make you feel better, but it means nothing to me. Do you even HAVE a goddamned ring in this steam bath hellhole of a country? I come from an egalitarian society. But, when I'm in this classroom and class is in session, I am the teacher and I am the king here who decides who goes and who stays, and pass judgments. All others are students, and by definition subordinates, or visitors. If you are not here to learn, you are not wanted here. I don't have time for your bullshit. You don't have time for mine. Fair enough. We're even. Get the hell out."
    "I ... I ... am leaving." She jumped to her feet and hurried out, slamming the door behind.
     She left the air in the classroom highly troubled and I decided to let it settle. "Let's take a 10-minute break. Some of you may be of two minds about this class and so I'll give you some time to think this through and what you want to do. I'll come back in and continue with everyone who remains."

As soon as I shut the door behind me I heard them all squeal and yell among themselves. If you've never taught before, one thing I've noticed over the years is that you only have one chance to set the initial timbre of your relationship with a class. If you squander the opportunity to establish your authority, they will never respect what you have to say; but bigger than any ego issues a teacher may have, you have compromised their learning experience for the worse--they will never get themselves properly disciplined.

I'm told by a colleague that tutoring family groups has peculiar dynamics and can be especially difficult. I expect Fei will have a couple of partisans who will follow her out in solidarity, and that's fine. The only compulsory student I need to care about is Wen, Feng's daughter, and I just hope she's smart.

I listened at the door and the venting and calculating was still going on so I decided to walk over the the shade of a nearby group of trees and wait out the full 10 minutes. It remains beastly hot, even though it’s the end of the day. I got out my bandana to mop the sweat. I heard a noise to my right. I looked over and saw Fei sitting next to a tree sobbing. I have found that crying is a great way to work out physical stress that the body has held in and the best thing is to not let such processes be misinterpreted. She needs to think and work this out on her own, and maybe with her mother, and her father, wherever he is. I’ve gotten threatened by fathers before whose daughters I had brought to tears in class. Hope the guy is not some assistant chief who’ll have me torn asunder.


I glanced at my watch and decided to head back in. I was surprised nobody had walked out yet. Qin Qin was probably working them over—MY little partisan. I probably should have asked her to convince everybody to leave. Turning back to Fei, against my better judgment I decided just to give a word of congratulation and encouragement for executing a very positive ego step. Questioning authority is important for young people to learn.

     “Hey, Little Lady,” I said. “I appreciate your assertiveness and . . .”
     She interrupted me before I could continue. She wasn’t even listening. “You were mean to my mother. Now you’re being mean to me.”
     “Mean? How the fuckin’ hell was I mean to your mother? I’ll admit I was mean to Mu. I was trying to be mean there.”
     “You were NOT mean to Auntie Mu. You gave her honor and praise. And her daughter. Why do stupid dragons always get reverence?"
     "Stupid is not a word I would use for either of them."
     "And why is it always Auntie Feng that gets told she's the best cook? She doesn't need any more assurance that she's superior to the rest of us."
     "I'll agree with you there. Since we're talking about food, she just had me for an appetizer."
     "What?"
     "Never mind. If it makes any difference to you, I did insult Mu at the meeting."
     “When? I didn't hear it.”
     “Talk to your mother about it. Adults are all about subtle. Speaking of adults, if you thought I was treating you meanly, it’s only because I was treating you like an adult. You said you were of age right?”
     “I don't like the American way of relating to each other. Are all adults mean to each other?”
     “We can be. Free persons are always negotiating who they need to cultivate and who they need to cut loose.”
     “I’m someone to cut loose then?”
     “You told me you didn’t want to be in my class. I should honor you by believing what you say is true shouldn’t I?”
     “But nobody has ever told me I am not wanted. To get out. To forbid me to be someplace where I’ve always been able to go.”
     “That hurt hunh?”
     “Yeah.”
     “Why should it? I don’t think I’m someone whose approval you would ever want to seek, right? Lee told me that there many who didn’t want me to come here. That probably includes you and your mother. Am I right?”
     “Yeah.”
     “Where’s your father? What does he think?”
     “You need to talk to Lee about that.”
     Different girl, same standard answer. “Cheer up. I’ll be gone in two months. And life here will go back to exactly what it has been. I’m like a bad cold that you just have to put up with.”
     “Qin said you want us all to go to college. Do you think I should go to college?
     "I'm a university professor. Don't ask me that. It's like asking a barber if  he thinks you need a haircut."
     "A barber? What's that?"
     "Never mind. Yes. I want you to go to college. I want you to all be engineers like me. It’s the highest and most useful profession mankind has come up with yet. The world will be better for us being around. College is only the most convenient and comprehensive way you get there.
     “What if we don’t want to be engineers?”
     "You’re having a hard time imagining a life different from what you know, aren’t you? You know what? I find that farmers are already halfway there to being engineers. It’s not that hard a jump. The understand the physical world—they just don’t know all the laws yet."
     "Is there any reason to go if I'm not going to become an engineer?"
     "Fei, you specialize in animal husbandry, am I right? Mammals?”
     “That’s right. And the pangolins.”
     “Whatever those weird things are. Have you ever had a disease come through and wipe out a herd or a flock?”
     “It has happened.”
     “If you had an elder you could consult to help you treat that herd before they all died, someone who had seen it before. Would you go to them?”
     “I would.”
     “That’s all a college education is. It is an elder, actually an entire council of elders, captured into a form that will outlast their bodies. Why would you deny yourself the opportunity to take a step down the road to consult that group of elders? The entrance exams that I’ve been asked to prep you for are not important in themselves, but they are but "guardian demons" whom you must appease or vanquish on your quest to seek the wise ones. You see that don’t you?”
     “I guess I do.”
     “Well, that's all I have to say, gotta get back."
     “Why does Nu get to have your praise? Why does Qin Qin get to be your assistant?”
     I was goddamned wasting my breath. All my wisdom was just disappearing into the air. This kid was just jealous. Thank GOD she fuckin’ dropped out. Who needs that? “Fei, they showed up. That’s why. You, on the other hand, are absenting yourself.”
     "They showed up? That’s all?”
     “Opportunity never comes to people who are present to capture it. Want to know the truth? I’m a bad teacher. Feng doesn’t know that otherwise she would have never offered me this position. I can only get good results out of willing spirits. And Nu, Xiaomei, and Qin are all that. A REALLY good teacher can get good results out of the unwilling. You did me a favor by dropping out. I won’t look bad.” I winked. “Time to reconvene.”
     “Can I come back in to class?”
     Damn, she was going to come back. “Nope.”
     “No? Not ever?”
     “Next time we meet, not today.”
     “Why not?”
     “It won’t look good if a proud Second Princess caved in to a teacher so easily, now would it? You’d lose a lot of face among your peers. But you’d make me look mighty powerful. I don’t need a lot of esteem since I won’t be here very long. We’ll convene again, I think tomorrow. Right now, your peers probably think you’re pretty ballsy.”
     “Ballsy?”
     “Brave. Defiant. Single-minded. Let them think that. Let that be your first lesson from me. Control appearances among those who matter. You have to live with these other girls the rest of your life. You may need to tell them something very uncomfortable someday and the seed you planted in them will make that later task easier. Don’t try to understand that right now. Just hear it. You’re dismissed. Oh, do me a favor and tell your mother I kicked you out for bad behavior. She’s going to wonder why you’re home early.”
     “Why should I do that? It’s not true.”
     “She distrusts me. I can tell. I want to cultivate that. And it’s a little bit true. You’re kind of a prissy brat who needed to the thrown out.”
     “You are a very odd teacher.”
     “Ah, you’ve learned how to withstand negative comment from me. Progress. Now excuse me. By the way, trust me. I think you made the right choice. You don’t want to be in my class. You’ll only annoy me and I will be hard on you.”
     “One more question?”
     "What?”
     "Are you really only going to be here 90 days total and then leave?”
     “Counting the days, eh? And you call ME mean. You can give goddamn fuckin’ lessons in mean little girl. But I’m a tough old fart and I’ve heard it all. Get the assignment from the others and be ready when I call on you, because I will.” There, that should keep her away.

     I returned to the classroom and all the girls were still present. Qin Qin and Xiaomei were standing at the front of the class waiting for me, beaming.
     "They're all staying," said Xiaomei cheerfully.
     "They were all going to leave since nobody's going to college anyway except Xiaomei, but we convinced them that you're a smart man to learn anything from. I told them you're not really as mean as you acted earlier."
     "How do you figure that?" I asked.
     "You argue with Auntie Lee all the time sounding really mean and awful, but you always wind up doing what she tells you to do. Plus you're funny," said Qin.
     "Great. That's just goddamned fuckin' great," I said.
     "Something wrong?" asked Xiaomei.
     "Remember in the future if you want to do something to help me, ask me first. I called for personal decisions. No pressure or influence was supposed to exerted on anyone."
     "If something was very good for me, I wanted to share it with all of them. Is that wrong?" asked Xiaomei.
     "It's very honorable. Do not be ashamed. As long as you're all here of your free will. You have your hand up. What is it?" I said.
     It was one of my polynesian girls. She said, "We," pointing to the other "poly" girl, "will stay and do our best, but we want you to teach us to fish as well."
     "Your name is?" I asked.
     "I'm Ba, this is Yi."
     "Lee says you spear fish for the community. I've seen you. You're very fast in the water."
     "Yeah, but we're not very good at the catching part," said Yi. "You always bring in a great catch. Half the time they get away from us."
     "And you have to spend half the time outfoxing the big sharks so they don't eat YOU," Ba added.
     They were digging me in deeper.  "Get permission from the Security Council and your parents and I'll see what we can work out," I sighed in resignation. "Is there any paper in this classroom?"
     "We all have pads in our desks," said Ling.
     "Get out your pads, write an introduction of everything you want me to know about yourself, in English, include your date of birth. Put it back in your desk and you are dismissed until this time tomorrow."

 © 2012 Copyright Vincent Way, all rights reserved.

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Be truthful and frank, but be polite. If you use excessive profanity, I'll assume you have some kind of character flaw like Dr. Wong. Tks!