Greetings Gentle Readers,
Clete is really trying to extricate himself out of Island affairs, really he is. But he has caught the attention of people who were likewise trying to pay him no mind. And so he winds up at a girls' tea party as you will see in this continuation of his journal entry. He is spending a lot time writing down this day's events because it's the most he's learned about his hosts in one day since getting there.
But parties are not always what they seem are they?
Just a reminder (you'll need to keep these women straight):
Mu is the First Dragon Guardian Princess of the East.
Qi is the First Chi-lin Guardian Princess of the West.
Feng is the First Phoenix Guardian Princess of the South.
Ting Ting is the First Tortoise Guardian of the North.
Thanks for reading.
Love,
Pops
[Clete's journal entry continues]
I of course told Lee everything over dinner. She was mildly
irritated that they were intentionally shutting her out, but did not fly into a
tirade of outrage as she tends to do with me. Ultimately she said it was a good
idea to go but she would accompany me at the meeting. That was good since she
knew how to get there and I felt secure with her taking me across borders I was
not allowed to cross. It was a lengthy walk since our cottages were on the
north side of the Island and Nu’s mother’s home was on the south. Halfway
there, she waited for me as I stopped in briefly at Lum’s to let her know our
tutoring session had been preempted. Xiaomei was disappointed but we made an
appointment for the day after tomorrow.
“What business
do you have with Lum?” Lee asked after I emerged from Lum’s cottage.
“I should
probably not tell you. I am giving you the gift of plausible deniability.
Nothing immoral, I guarantee that.”
“It will be the
next thing to cause trouble with you. Why are you like that?”
“Lee, I was
expecting you to explode when I told you about this thing with Nu. You’ve been
remarkably calm.”
“Why would you
expect that?”
“Getting upset
is what you normally do.”
“I do not get
upset! But I am afraid I am starting to get used to you.”
“Not much point
in that. I’m a short timer. Do you have problems with this group? Are they really
your boss?”
“I have no boss.
If anything, I protect them. I am like their mother. All of them. Do they
appreciate it? No.”
“So you do have some
antagonism. What do you think this is about?”
“I do not know
what Mu thinks.”
“Am I the thing
you’re trying to protect them from?”
“I have nothing
to say on that.”
“Do you have any
instructions for me on how to act?”
“You just do
what you do. Probably you will make greater errors trying to be right than
acting as you normally are. You are a smart guy. You will figure it out. All of
your mistakes seem to wind up getting fixed anyway. You make me tired.”
Nu was standing outside of her residence cottage to greet me.
She now wore a formal black robe with white trim and her hair was down and
loose; it hung past her waist. We were not going into the residence, but via a
separate entrance Nu led us into an add-on to the cottage. About the size of a
large American suburban living room, I suspect this may be the largest interior
space on the Island—the “Meeting Hall.” A rug was spread out on the wooden
floor. There was what I would call a low table, it was long, almost like a coffee
table, set not quite in the middle. It looked like we would be sitting on the
floor. There were several cushions set about. Nu stood there waiting with us.
Just then, the Security council walked in from the residence
area. Three women roughly all the same age, 50-ish, and size, 5’1” to 5’3”,
pretty much like Lee and Lian. The fourth was a bit smaller, like a slightly
larger version of of Lum. They all had on impressive, and flowing taxicab-yellow
silk robes with red and white trim. There were embroidered on the left breast
of the robes the ideograms of what I remembered from Chinese School the four
directions. They stood side-by-side in a
row. All of the council members had their hair loose about down to the shoulder
blades and then tied off, with the remainder in a braid.
It occurred to me, and embarrassed me no end, is that while I
had met three of these women but I could not remember who was who. I was
probably not looking at their faces. What a faux pas! I tried to figure who it
that subjected me to the “Johnson Exam,” but I couldn’t figure it out. I won’t
say anything patronizingly racist like they all look alike, but being the same
size and wearing essentially the same clothes and hairstyle, there was
similarity in facial appearance. They were all probably related in some way.
It’s an Island right?
Three teenage girls, they looked like teenagers to me
anyway, filed in behind them and stood in a second row. They were attired like
Nu, also with their waist-length hair loosed. I assumed the empty spot is where
Nu would move to eventually.
I felt terribly underdressed in my white, short-sleeved
cotton shirt, khaki pants, and field boots.
Lee looked a little surprised as well. I had packed a coat and tie. I
wished I had put them on. The woman second from the left, Nu’s empty space was
behind her so I assumed it was Nu’s mother, spoke. First Dragon Princess I
assumed. “The Dog Island Security Council is convened. We have a guest this
evening, Dr. Clete Wong. Dr. Wong, I am Mu and my fellow council members are Qi
to my right, Feng to my immediate left, and Ting Ting at the far left. We have
asked our daughters to observe tonight. You have met Nu, my daughter, and in
the same order are Fei, Wen, and Jie.”
I nodded in response. Lee put her hand on the scruff of my
neck and said to me, “You bow. Go down farther, 45 degrees, or if you can bend
that far, 90.” I did so. My peripheral vision caught their response and then I was
yanked back up at the right moment with a power assist from Lee.
Mu walked over and stood directly in front of me. She looked over at Lee.
“Lee, we did not
expect to see you here. What a surprise.”
“Some would say
it is my duty,” said Lee.
“Yes,” said Mu
as she turned back to me. “Before we get started, Dr. Wong, my daughter
delivered a message to me where you instructed her to give me your exact words.
Is that so?”
“I, uh … may
have said something like that,” I found myself now feeling sorry I had said
what I did.
“I gathered that
I must be important with such a careful instruction. I believe I understood
everything said, but there was one thing that I was unclear on. That was that
you would like to ‘bitch slap’ me. Was that what you said?”
“I believe so.”
“I’m afraid none
of us are familiar with that American idiom. So to be clear, I would like to
you to ‘bitch slap’ me right now, please, if that is something you would so
like to do.”
“Well, that, …
yes …”
“Do you not want
to do it any longer?”
“I suppose I
still do … but …”
“The word ‘slap’
is literal then? I encourage you to do it and then explain yourself. If it
involves my taking a strike, please do. I assure you, I may be small, but I am
not fragile.” I got her signal.
“Tell you what, let’s
put it off until later,” I said, “I would like to first present my credentials
to this august body.”
“Very well,”
said Mu returning to her place. At her signal, the Security Council and their
attendants seated themselves on their floor cushions. “At this time, Dr. Wong
will please introduce himself.” Nu started to move to her place behind her mother, but I put my hand on
her shoulder and held her by me.
“I would like to
request the services of this young lady as my translator please?”
“There is no
need for a translator. We are all conversant in English as you now know,” said
Mu.
“I’d still like
one,” I said.
“Very well,” Mu
agreed. “But why not your liaison?”
“Lee is
perfectly fine and supportive, but this young lady impressed me when we spoke
earlier and I would like to use her services.”
“Proceed,” said
Mu.
Nu looked
apprehensively at me but I gave her a reassuring look. “Manchurian is your
court language right?”
“Yes. Say what
you need to say in short phrases and I will translate them,” said Nu.
“That’s not what
we’re going to do. On the top of my packet is my standard speech for protocol
events like this. It’s very simple English. You will translate it and tell it
into my ear and I will repeat out loud what I hear from you.”
“Very bad idea,”
said Lee. “You will sound ridiculous.”
“If they want to
laugh at me and think I’m an idiot that’s fine. Maybe that’s what I want them
to think. How about that?” I said.
“Why would you
want that?” asked Lee.
“You never know.
Let’s do it. Nu?”
What
should have come out of my mouth was a dry recitation of my resume. I am told
that what came out of my mouth was something like this:
[Switch to
Manchurian]
Most illustrious
descendants of the Venerated Scholar and Scion of Justice, Duke of the Jewel
River Valley, and daughters of Her Royal Highness Qi, the Great and Exalted
First Incarnation of the Empress of Dog Island, I bring respects from myself,
my clan, and my country.
I am Dr. Clete Winston
Wong, a citizen of the United States, here to conduct an introductory
geological survey of Dog Island on behalf other Earth Dragon Institute. I
hereby present my credentials to my official liaison to enter into your court
records. Here are copies of my birth certificate, my passport, my bachelor’s
and masters degrees, my doctorate in geology, my doctorate in petroleum
engineering, transcripts of my postdoctoral research in offshore drilling
procedures, an annotated bibliography of my articles published in scholarly
journals, and a listing of patents for processes that I developed through my
exploration enterprises.
I also present my
letters of introduction from the U.S. Secretary of State, the Admiral of the
Pacific Fleet, and from the sovereignties of China, Indonesia, Malaysia, the
Philippines, Saudi Arabia, the United Arab Emirates, Venezuela, Greenland,
Canada, Demark, Great Britain, South Africa, and Nigeria. Also submitted are copies of charters and licenses that I
hold to conduct trade and commerce and to practice the profession of
engineering in those countries. Also included is a letter attesting to my
current teaching assignment at the University of Southern California from the
provost.
I had my eyes closed as I mouthed these words, a conduit for
Nu’s awareness of court procedures. When I was done, I handed Lee a stack of
paper that I had made up into packet for just these types of ceremonial
presentations of credentials. When I turned to the council, they were each
hunched over weeping. Finally the one called Qi, asked me a question.
“Dr. Wong, do
you speak Manchurian?”
“No.”
“We have not
heard it from a man’s voice since the Great Surge.”
“I’m sorry if I
butchered it, and caused you grief.”
“It is not that
you spoke it poorly,” said Qi, “you spoke it perfectly. How is that?”
“I am a good
listener and an excellent mimic.”
“You berate yourself,”
said Qi, “but you summoned Island ghosts into the room, Doctor.”
“Ghosts?”
“Loved ones.
Ones whom we have not thought about for a long time. That is why we shed our
tears.”
“I thank my
translator, Miss Nu.” I looked straight at Mu. “As a teacher, and as a manager,
I assign someone to do things for me when I know they can shine.” Mu frowned
back at me. There’s your bitch slap. “Her parents and teachers are to be
commended,” I added. “If there are any questions about my background or my work
here that I can address for the council, I would be happy to entertain them
now.” I turned to Nu and whispered, “Thank you my dear. I appreciate your
expert assistance,” and gave her a firm handshake. Good, she was looking me
straight in the eye. She remembered the American way. She took her place behind her mother, who looked conflicted
as I hoped she would.
“Before we
continue,” said Mu, “I think we let the good doctor refresh himself with some
tea. Wen?” The girl second from my right rose and disappeared into the living
quarters, returning with a tray of four teapots and four cups. She pour a cup
from each pot and set them before me. “Dr. Wong, if you would do us the honor
of choosing the tea that we drink tonight?”
This
had all the marks of an intrigue and I didn’t want to get caught up in it. I
gave Lee a glance. She whispered. “Just go left to right and pick the one you
like best. It’s a childish contest of theirs. Each one makes their own blend.”
“Do
you think they are set in the order of seating?”
“No. All
mixed up. We should not talk too much. Don’t think too much. Pick your
favorite. This is not that important. Again. They are a bunch of silly girls
playing a game, but old. That is the kind of people they are.”
Still
I was not assured by Lee’s advice. I got the sense she does not choose to
navigate office politics with any kind of skill. Since I took Mu down a peg in
my mind and picked her back up a little, I decided I was going to select Mu’s
tea.
First one. Sweet. Fruity. Light. Not complicated. I looked
closely at the four women. Damn. If only I could remember the other two I
already met. The two on the ends were both faintly smiling. I set this cup to
the left to correspond with Qi I think it was, with “West” or “xi” embroidered
on her robe.
Second one. Powerful. Strong. Bitter foretaste, but lightens
up at the end for a toasty finish. Otherwise one-dimensional. Bold. Mu is
holding her face too still. This is probably hers. I set it to the right of the
first to correspond with Mu, the East maiden.
Third one. Musky. Spicy. Starts exotic, changes to plain,
then back to aromatic as it passes down your throat and the essential oils
flare back up into your nose. West woman, Qi is fanning herself and shaking her
head. Woman on far right, Ting Ting, North, is straightening her clothes. Fidgety.
Constantly moving though sitting still. Not hers. She caught herself being
disinterested and is now back in eye contact. Too late. She’s acting too
familiar with me—I think I have my playful groper. I set down the third musk-smelling cup right in front of me, and retasted first cup. Springy. Light. Playful. Gotta
to be that Ting Ting. Even her name sounds playful. I set that one in all
the way to the right to correspond with her.
Retaste the third cup. Chai-like. Qi has cocked her head at
me. Probably hers. She has a mysterious, earthy look about her. She almost
looks Thai. Her hair is a lighter shade than the rest. She’s the one I didn’t
meet. Must be hers. So I set in the far left position to correspond to her. I
pick up the second cup and speak.
“This one has a
nice robust , earthy flavor. It’s got a strength that we can all enjoy to carry
us through the meeting. Let’s go with this.”
“Don’t you want
to taste them all?” asked Mu. “Before making a decision?”
“When I find the
one I want, I stop looking.”
Qi spoke. “Do
you wonder that you have missed something even better?”
“Nope. With this
level of decision making, you stop when your criteria are met. What if while
you’re testing all alternatives, the suitable option disappears?”
“I suppose you
must then keep looking,” said Qi.
“And continue on
being unsatisfied. You’ve then lost time that you can’t get back.”
“Are you not even
a little bit curious about the fourth cup, Dr. Wong?” asked Ting Ting.
“Now I am. But
I’d look like a fool to you all if I drank it now.”
“These cups are
not going anywhere,” said Mu. “I won’t think you a fool for trying all
options.”
“I think,” said
Feng, the South representative, “that I’d like to hear your opinion on all of
them. You are a tea drinker are you not, Dr. Wong?”
“I am. I love
tea. But I’m mostly a coffee drinker.”
Lee picked up
the fourth cup, grabbed my hand, and put the cup firmly in it. “I can’t stand
this! Drink it. We don’t have all night. Just drink it and pick one. Why do you
indulge these girls in their schoolgirl games?!”
“LEE!” said Mu.
“Why do you interfere?” Mu had a weariness and an exasperation in her voice.
“It so happens I
agree with him. Hard for me to believe, but I do. You find what you need. Done.
He is a smart guy, in spite of all his college degrees,” said Lee.
“I am SO GLAD
you approve,” said Qi. “Here we are having a nice civilized conversation . . .”
Lee rolled her
eyes. “Get on with this!” Lee scolded me. “Taste.”
“If you are
inconvenienced, you can leave any time,” said Qi. Lee glared back at Qi.
“Gotta go with
my liaison. I’ve spent too long on this. Here goes,” I said. First a sip, then
my eyes opened up. It hit the back of my throat and it was like liquid joy. I
think they all saw a change in my posture. “Wow! At first subtle, but very
complex, but then it turns into a party in your mouth! How does it do that?” It
was obvious to me whose tea it was because the woman was brightly smiling equal
to the tea’s impact on me. I set it down second to right in front of me.
“So that is your
favorite? That is your choice then?” Asked Mu.
“It’s great. I
hope I have it again sometime, but I have to go with my first choice, the
second cup.”
“But why?” asked
Feng.
“It doesn’t meet
my criteria.”
“What are your
criteria?” she pressed.
“I decided I wanted
to pick Mu’s.” Their mouths opened up. “Did I get it right?”
Feng started to
say something, but Mu intervened. “WE are going to let that be tonight’s
mystery. Nu, would you brew a nice fresh pot and serve us please?”
“Right away,
Ma.”
“Now would be a
good time for us to ask Dr. Wong any questions we may have about his work,”
said Mu.
“Dr. Wong,” Feng
started in, “I was reviewing your original file provided by the Earth Dragon
Institute, and you gave us such complete credentials. You are a professor at a
university in Los Angeles?”
“Well, I’m not a
full professor. I’m just an adjunct. I teach graduate courses in petroleum
engineering, and lower division math too.”
“What is an
adjunct?”
“It means I
teach only part-time.”
“Ah, and what do
you with the other part of your time?”
“I guess you
could say I look for oil.”
“Ah, I see.
Thank you.”
“You say, you
look for oil,” it was Qi’s turn. “Do you find it?”
“Well, in my
business, it’s mostly no. But I have found several good, working wells in my
time.”
“But you are not
here to look for oil?”
“No. I am here
as a volunteer geologist. That’s my original training. I’m just doing
geological survey work for Earth Dragon Institute. This is not my regular job.”
“Do you think
you would find oil here?”
“Oil can be
anywhere, but no, this is not a likely place. It’s never been found anywhere
near here, so nobody would try—unless there were some kind of clue detected.
The closest oil deposits that have been found around here are in Indonesia.
Basically you need to be over a place where an ocean died several million years
ago, and it had to have stayed warm enough for all the dead material to cook
into black goop.”
“What are you
here to find?” asked Ting Ting.
“Just knowledge.
Pure science. I’m here to record what Dog Island looks like at this point in
time. So that we can compare it to future observations. Earth Dragon thinks
that climate change is having an effect on your ecosystems, so they’re very
interested in what I record.”
“What are some
of your observations?”
“It’s premature
for me to say anything right now. It was all rather sudden to be asked here
tonight so I didn’t have any time to prepare any thoughts.” Of course, I
couldn’t help but start going on about what I had recently observed, and I
think Ting Ting stopped me from blathering on. I offered that I’d be happy to
prep a digested report. We decided that they would meet with me in a week or so
and I would make a presentation then. My portion was then completed and I was
excused.
Lee told me she wished to speak to the council afterwards
and asked Nu to escort me back to my cottage. “No detours” were her explicit
instructions to Nu, and so we started back. She had changed out of her
ceremonial robe and was back in the Black and White uniform. She started off
and I followed about three paces behind her.
After we had removed ourselves from view of her home she
slowed and I caught up to her and we walked side by side.
“Thank you Dr.
Wong.”
“For what?”
“You gave me the biggest face I’ve ever had in
front of the Security Council, the Water Guardian, and the three highest
ranking Seconds, my counterparts. If only Ling, the eldest, were there … but
then if she were, you would have asked her then.”
“No, I would not
have. Ling has other talents. I wanted you for the job. You did perfectly.
Let’s leave it at that. So that was Manchurian coming out of my mouth?”
“It’s the
language that the council uses for official announcements, formal complaints,
commendations, and festival prayers. I guess you would call it High Court
Manchurian. It’s not what commoners would speak.”
“So your
ancestors were nobility?”
“I’m not sure how
much I can tell you, but it was spoken by one of our ancestors who founded Dog
Island. I had you using the honorifics as if you were a visiting sovereign
rather than a subject or a tourist. I hope you don’t mind. If you had some
business to conduct with them, I thought it might help you out and have you seen you as
an equal.”
“Well, it gave
them quite a start.”
“As Auntie Qi
said, they have not heard a man’s voice speak it for decades.”
“Who was the
last?”
“Someone we call
the ‘Sea Witch.’ He was the father of the current Sea Witch. He passed away
over 20 years ago.”
“This is a man
then, this Sea Witch?”
“No. In our
time, it is a woman, and the next will be her daughter.”
“Do they live on
the Island?”
“They dwell in
the place that we call ‘The Outside.’”
“Ah, The
Outside. I finally figured out that’s the proper name of the central sector. It’s
in my research plan. I am scheduled to survey that area in Week 11. Why are those
people called that? Witches?”
“They mediate
communication between our world and heaven and hell, the living and the dead.
And they also tend to illness and disease that Lum cannot address. But you will
probably only see them when you go to their domain. They stay in their world
and we stay in ours, but we cross over sometimes.”
“You have border
restrictions even on an Island this small?”
“The girl you
live next to, Ling. She may be able to tell you more. She is close to the
younger Sea Witch. They meet and talk regularly in the place we call The
Margin.”
“Nu, do you have
any opinions on why they wanted to see me?”
“Do not quote
me, but I think they were trying assess whether you are a danger or not.”
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Be truthful and frank, but be polite. If you use excessive profanity, I'll assume you have some kind of character flaw like Dr. Wong. Tks!