Hello readers,
Sorry, it's been a while. Was on vacation, had to finish a UCLA Extension course, took a few guqin lessons, but I'm back on track to mount up this kooky little story for you. This is just the first part of what I'm calling Part 10. Thanks for reading. Feel free to leave a comment.
Love,
Pops
The “Great” Battle of Shan Jing (Mountain View) Academy
Lucky was
cold and sore from spending the night at the entry gate to the palace delivery
entrance where he had come before. He appreciated his master’s sentiment in
caring for his aging back and joints—especially of the hot baths that he was
able to avail himself at the Headmaster’s estate. Lucky knew such largess would
not last. It never did, so he learned to savor such fleeting luxuries. Young
Master would be on to his next pressing concern with the next dawn, nay, even the
next hour. Such enterprise was a glaring contrast to his father, the bumbling,
sleepy old Duke. “You must get this to Qi, Madame Cui’s assistant, tonight! Do
not return until you are satisfied it is accomplished,” the Young Master had
ordered him. Three was indeed a tiring man to attend.
All in all,
thought Lucky, it’s better than sleeping on a cold boat at sea. Brrrrr. How
good a life one has is only a matter of perspective and context, he mused. Had
I become a mendicant monk rather than a Duke’s head retainer, I might be
envious of the life I have now, though in circumstance at this moment, we are
exactly the same. Lucky heard stirrings within the gate as the Dawn Patrol
started to come on. He lamented that he had broken the night, but what else was
to be done?
“Old Man,”
said the freshly appointed guard, “What are you doing here again?”
“Early
Morning! Did the graveyard-shift guard deliver the message?”
“He didn’t
say a thing about it in his report. Is this another one for your imaginary
friend, Qi, the kitchen supervisor? If it is, then that’s why the night guard
ignored you. There is no such person. There is only Madame Cui and her superior
minister who oversee palace support operations.”
“Then how
is it my master met with her yesterday for lunch?”
“Your
master is then either a ghost or a lunatic.”
“You saw
him yourself later the day you and I first met, in the flesh. So if he be a
ghost, you are mayhaps the lunatic?”
“I’ll have
you know, Old Man, that I am sane, sober, and sound of body.”
“Such
soundings report the shallowness of a mere bachelor. Then you be not husband
nor father then?”
“How do you
know such a thing?”
“I am both
of the latter, and none of the former. The three virtues you hold are both
prerequisite and price for the prize of the later two.”
“Are they
such prizes then?”
“Wife and
children stole all from me. If it were a good bargain, time has yet to tell me.
Even so, the world we know would soon end if we men did not pursue such things.
’twould be lunacy to discourage them.”
“And yet it
is a kind of lunacy to do so.”
“And to your
query, my son, ‘Is my master a lunatic?’ To the extent that all men are who
would pursue a woman, he is.”
“I cannot put my sword to my shield
and deny that.”
“So I say if you value your
virtues, pray peruse young wives rather than pursue them.”
“But
where’s the virtue in that?”
“Granted
your virtue may be compromised, but your values will be intact.”
“My
values?”
“The worth
of your purse, appertained, perused, and pursued by subtle maidens and their
grasping fathers.”
“You, Sir,
obviously have nothing of the romantic in you.”
“I am too
old to have such notions. It is the job of maidens to suggest that at least
some part of a romantic will eventually get INTO THEM.”
“You are a
sly fellow. Lucky for you, you remind me of my own crazy old uncle, otherwise
I’d thrown you out long ago.”
“Then so am
I Lucky for you, and Lucky for your kindness.”
“Give me
your damn message, Old Man. I’ll deliver it to Madame Cui. Though I happen to
know the wench she passed it to, the one who obviously ensnared your besotted master
into being her yesterday’s midday snack.”
“Thank you,
I am greatly in your debt.”
“Don’t
thank me. Great debt is precisely where your master is heading if he continues
to correspond with the fair Lady Silver Bird of whom I speak—golden daughter of
the capital’s great paragon of harsh justice. Though as rarely beautiful as a
peony, she’s as wanton as a monkey, furious as a thunderstorm, and as dangerous
as a white asp to men. There is nothing but trouble ahead for this young man if
he persists in being her plaything. Are you SURE you want me to deliver your
message? You’ve spent a hard night on our cobblestones because of her already.”
“Eh? Young
man? At my age, a ‘hard’ night for the sake of a woman would only be a blessing.
As for my master, the fire of lust knows how it must burn and take its course.
Who are we to stand in its way? It may be the only way that we men can ever
attain purity, eh?” So Lucky stated his master’s message and left, satisfied it
would be received.
* * *
Silver Bird
was uncharacteristically sitting with Seven at her station in the kitchen—she
hated the sounds and smells of mass food preparations. The whole business made
eating so unappetizing what with all the chopping and blood. And it was so hot
and humid in the kitchen! She felt it was necessary, however, to keep a close
eye on her assigned royal. They had come down at mid-morning. Seven sat picking
through and shelling peas that she would prepare for her evening meal. Silver
Bird had brought down some embroidery work to pass the time.
A member of
the security force came by and spoke, “Excuse me my lady” said the guard to
Silver Bird, “and to you too, Your Highness. I have a message that was left by
the same old retainer that brought a note a few days ago to Madame Cui.”
“An old
retainer you say? For me?” asked Silver Bird.
“Not for
you personally, but it was for some imaginary kitchen supervisor Qi.” Seven
immediately perked up. The guard continued, “I kept telling him there is no
such person. I believe you relayed that past message to someone?”
“Where is
it?” asked Seven.
“Where is
what?” asked the guard.
“The
message. The note.”
“Your
Highness, he gave the note last night to the Graveyard Shift, who apparently
trashed it for the work of a fool.”
“Can you
retrieve it?” asked the Princess.
“I can do
better than that. He he told me what to say. It was: ‘Should I fear the Eunuch
Red Beard? Please advise how to proceed by noon. I am at Mountain View Academy.’”
“He was
here?” asked Silver Bird.
“The old
fool spent the night at the gate.”
“Did you
tell him anything?” she asked further.
“I told him
for what my opinion was worth, EVERYONE should fear Red Beard, and likewise
everyone should proceed cautiously as he removes heads on the spot and asks
questions later.”
“Thank you
guard,” said Silver Bird. “If he ever shows up again, no matter the hour,
please fetch me.” The guard moved onto his regular rounds. Seven dragged Silver
Bird off into the cloak room.
“Fate be
merciful,” said Seven, “this is NOT good.”
“Why would
Red Beard be contacting Three?”
“I’ve done
him a very bad turn,” said Seven. “That pendant I gave him? Reciprocating for
the one he gave me?”
“What of
it?”
“I forgot
that Red Beard audits the inventory of such things in the women’s quarters.
He’s probably noted it missing. He’s traced it to Three is the only thing I can
think of.”
“How would
he know that?”
“He has
spies all over town. He knows everything about everything. Except ME.”
“Let’s just
go pay Red Beard a visit and explain why Three has it then,” said Silver Bird.
“Then I
will have to explain how I got off the Palace proper. Twice. I’ll be locked up
in my chambers.”
“Then do
it. You owe it to Three.”
“But if I
do that, I’ll lose two methods of exit. And Slouchy may forfeit his life. Maybe
you too.”
“Gods! I
didn’t think about that.”
“Let me
think this through,” said Seven. “What is Red Beard really after? He knows that
Three has my pendant, but he doesn’t know how he got it. He probably doesn’t
suspect Three of stealing it, but that he probably bought it as stolen property
and wants him to divulge whom he got it from so that person can be punished.”
“I like the
sound of that—you being punished, that is,” said Silver Bird.
“Hush. I’m
thinking. So all I need to do is get Three to name me, Apprentice Kitchen
Supervisor Me, as the accomplice, and he will leave Three alone. At some point
Red Beard will come to me in private as part of his investigation and I’ll just
confess at that time and give him some elaborate game of disguise, which he
DOES know I engage in at times, that was accomplished at the Princess Banquet
when our paths crossed.”
“Sounds
elaborate and you haven’t filled in all the details,” Silver Bird admonished,
“you’re bound to forget something. Say that you do recite exactly in a logical
manner … and believably, why would you have done this disguise game?”
“Because I
found him attractive from across the room and decided to play the flirtatious
made one last time before marrying?” suggested Seven.
“That is
NOT you. That’s ME. So then, your answer to his follow up on why you would do
that?”
“Because I
am the stupid, pampered, spoiled, selfish girl he believes all of us princesses
to be.”
“THAT could
work. Except how do we advise Three of this contorted plot of yours?”
“It’s too
much to put into writing, there’s not enough time, and a script could get lost
and fall into the wrong hands. Remind me. Has he ever met you such that if I
send you over, he would know you and trust a message from you?”
“NO. Thanks
to Golden Talent, and you and your subterfuges, I’m not a person but a simply a
type to him. He thinks I’m twenty different women.”
“Then I’ll
keep it simple. I’m going there myself in disguise and giving him instructions
in the simplest way possible.”
“Forget the
disguises! How about we just go as ourselves, reveal you are the Princess
Seven, he gives you back the pendant, you put it back in your collection, and
we’re done with this whole illusion you’ve created.”
“We can’t
do that. I’m still not allowed to leave the Palace except for religious or
state purposes. And we can’t use the ‘Slouchy Trick’ two times in as many
days—it’ll be suspicious. Plus, I don’t want to do that to Three.”
“Do WHAT to
Three? You’ve deceived him. You’ve had him lose a lot of money. You’ve got him
implicated in a felony. Haven’t you done enough to the poor guy?”
“He thinks
it’s possible to actually marry me. Not the Princess Me, the real me.”
“Hey
surprise, the Princess You IS the Real You.”
“Shut up.
That’s the only thing I’ve been able to give him. That thought. I will be the
ideal woman in his mind until the day he dies. I don’t want to take that away
from him.”
“My! How
generous of you. He’s a practical man. I’ve seen enough of him. He’ll cut his
losses fast and not nurse fantasies like some half-cooked romantic, like you.
Besides, you did give him the pendant.”
“He’s not
going to keep it much longer. Come on. Help me play this out to a successful
conclusion. We’ll get there by subterfuge. I’ll try to solve it my way, and
then, sigh, if that doesn’t work, I’ll reveal myself if necessary. I’ll get
locked up the rest of my days here in the capital, but I swear I’ll say I
forced you and Slouchy to do what I told you and beg the Emperor for clemency
if necessary.”
“Seven! I
SWEAR,” said Silver Bird. “How did I get myself into this? I’m in so deep.”
“You said
you wanted something to gossip about. I’m giving you plenty.” Seven rose and
went over to the supervisor, “Madame Cui? Silver Bird and I are going down to
the wine cellars for a while.”
“While
you’re there,” said Cui, “be a dear and select and flag some wine for the
Ambassadors Circle for the porters to bring up. Do you know where everything
is?”
“I’ll handle it,” said Seven nodding.
She made a quick visit to the spice pantry, grabbed keys and candles, took Silver Bird by the hand, and pulled her to
the cellar doors.
“What are
you doing?” said Silver Bird.
“WE, both
of us, go down the front stairs, BUT you come up the back stairs with a
delivery boy who is carrying bottles for an official event at the residence of
your father, the esteemed judge.”
“How are
you so fast at thinking these things up?”
“Practice,
my dear, practice.” Seven patted herself on the bosom. “See, there is an
advantage to not having a large chest. And this kind of thing is so much easier
when you have a confederate! I don’t know why I didn’t exploit you this way
before.”
© 2012 by
Vincent Way, all rights reserved.
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Be truthful and frank, but be polite. If you use excessive profanity, I'll assume you have some kind of character flaw like Dr. Wong. Tks!