The Princess Banquet
Silver
Bird, Princess Seven’s personal assistant and confidante, knocked on her
mistress’ chamber door before entering. It was late morning and Seven, at her
mother’s insistence, forced her to sit down with the assistant and review her
banquet’s details not pertaining to food or cooking. In fact, her mother had
given orders that she was not allowed to be anywhere other than her chambers
all day, and then to the Great Hall where she would host her guests that
evening. Seven sat alone in her quarters.
“Oh, it’s
you,” said Seven. “This is SUCH a bore. Having to study everyone’s title and
names of their wives and their children. I mean, I know all of them already,
but these prescribed statements I have to make to each one! It’s unending and
tedious!”
“I’m fine.
Thanks for asking,” said Silver Bird tartly and sarcastically. “Other than
whining, how are you doing?”
“Other than
being under house arrest?”
“Yes, I
saw. TWO eunuch guards. It’s your own fault for being so naughty the day before
last. Blame yourself.”
“I don’t
regret leaving the premises. It’s the last time I’ll ever see any of those
things.”
“Where did
you go?”
“It’s
better if I don’t tell you. But if you
have been asked to get something out of me, just tell them that I HAD to go sit
in the neighboring temple’s famously beautiful bamboo garden to contemplate the
maidenly virtues one last time.”
“That will
work. Madame Cui gave something to me that I assume is for you.”
“If it’s my
slippers, she can keep them for all the trouble I caused her. She got her boots
right?”
“It’s
nothing like that. Some man showed up at the kitchen gate with some papers and
a letter addressed to the Kitchen Supervisor Qi. She thought that might be
you.”
“A man? Do
you have a description?”
“There were
two visits. The first shortly after dawn by a man in his 50s who was sent away.
During the next shift he returned with a second man, a well-dressed young man
in his mid-20s, his employer apparently. It’s a collection of recipes and
instructions on how to use the various condiments and food items of the
southern provinces. What an odd thing to bring to you.”
“Isn’t it
though?”
“What are
you hiding?”
“Nothing.”
“There was
also a sealed letter. Stamped with a Duke’s mark.”
“I’ll take
it now please. I mean all of it.”
“You know
that I am empowered by your father to open your sealed correspondence and vet
it for threats before you see it.”
“I’m aware
of that.”
“Threats to
you, and threats to the empire, and its proper processes.”
“Such as
political alliances by way of royal marriages?”
“Just
making sure you remember our places in this world.”
“But you
didn’t read it.”
“Maybe I
did, maybe I didn’t.”
“Give it to
me.”
“In time.”
Silver Bird went over to Seven’s bed and picked up her pillow. “What I wouldn’t
give to be able to see the dreams that were had on this pillow these last two
nights. This even feels a little damp to me. Wonder if the bedding is also?”
“You are
awful. Give me MY letter.”
“I can’t
believe this. YOU, the oddball, late-bloomer, cooking princess. FINALLY having
a court intrigue, with a man, AND in the days leading up to your wedding. For
Four and Nine it was inevitable, but for Seven? I FINALLY get to have something
to gossip about with my peers? This is wonderful!”
“You will
do nothing of the kind!” shouted Seven. Now give it to me.”
“Here are
the recipes …” Silver Bird said playfully swinging them then flinging them to
her.
“To Hell
with the recipes. I want my letter.” Silver Bird dangled it out and Seven
jumped at her, but the attendant avoided her grasp and led the princess on a
chase about the room, rolling over the bed, and around the furniture. In the
end, Seven was faster and stronger by far and eventually caught Silver Bird and
held her down on the bed.
“I’ll give
it to you, but we will read it together.”
“What if
it’s private?”
“Consider
it my duty as a security officer of the court. Do that and my job is done.”
“I have
nothing to worry about. I’m sure it is just business correspondence. A
thank-you letter for hiring his services well rendered.”
“Here it
is,” said Silver Bird holding it out. Seven opened it and read it. She read it
again. “Nothing special. It’s just an invitation to late-morning tea. That’s
all.”
“Give it to
me,” said Silver Bird. She gave a gasp of indignation.
“What?”
“You may as
well live in a nunnery. You have absolutely no subtlety. Just listen to this.
How can you miss it?”
Dear
Miss Qi,
I
hope your preparations for the banquet this evening are all going as planned. I
wish you the greatest success for your efforts and that all details go exactly
right. Perhaps after your labor is done I could interest you in bit of refreshment.
I hope you will join me for tea tomorrow in the late morning to celebrate and
you can tell me all about the banquet, that is, if you can spare the time.
I
am sure the Junior Palace Kitchen Supervisor is particular about what she eats
and where she is seen, but I have been recommended to the Evergreen Inn for
early lunch and I am told it is of the highest quality. I told my employer, the
son of the Duke of the Jewel River Valley, about our acquaintance and he will
be joining us. I would be also honored to host your parents, or their designees
as well. I do hope you will make it.
My
best to your family,
Wang
Three
Silver Bird looked over at Seven who still looked puzzled.
“You still don’t get it. I suppose a princess would not. He is going to ask
your parents for you in marriage.”
“He is NOT!
This an invitation to an early lunch. Nothing more.”
“If you
were a regular working girl, like Madame Cui, but much younger, requesting an
audience with your parents in the presence of his employer and the local noble
to whom he owes his fealty is what you do an offer or marriage to the parents
of your intended. If he were at home, his parents would send a go-between.
There are many intermediate steps that would be taken, but he is away from
home, and his Duke, who is also his employer, is his superior stand-in and he’s
going for aa proper short-cut. If your parents consent and his Duke consents,
they will set up terms of the marriage right then and there. If you were to
actually go to this meeting, you would confirm his intention by assessing the
purse he carried on his belt which would hopefully be sagging with the weight
of heavy gold coins to pay your bride price.”
“I … see,”
said Seven. Her response was thoughtfully deadpan. “And this is how the lower classes
get married? It seems unnecessarily complicated.”
“This is
the young man in the lovely red-and-white robe I pulled you away from the other
day?”
“The very
same.”
“And he
thinks …” Silver Bird started to smile, “you work …” smile becomes even broader
“… in the kitchen?” The attendant tickled herself as she drew out her
questions. “That you’re part of Madame Cui’s staff?” Silver Bird had to bring
both hands up to hide her teeth.
“I’ll have
you know,” said Seven matter-of-factly, “that he has the highest respect for my
knowledge of the culinary arts.”
“OH MY
HEAVEN!” yelled Silver Bird as she fell back in uncontrollable laughter. “Can …
you .. imagine?” That was really too much for her. She rolled about holding
herself at the ludicrousness of it all. “The Manchurian Emperor of China and
his favorite wife, going to the Evergreen Inn to meet a young southern Han
merchant to negotiate for the Princess Seven!”
“Is the
Evergreen Inn a nice place? We never go out you know.” Seven had adopted a
dreamy look as she thought about the letter and what it meant.
“It’s
fabulous! I mean the royal dining halls
are beautiful and all, but they are restrained by official taste. The Evergreen
is simply over the top! You know the plum wine that is so loved about here?”
“Yes?”
“That’s the
establishment that produces it. You have enjoyed their product quite a bit. I’m
sure you’ve met the owners when they’ve come to meet with Madame Cui. The royal
patronage has made them quite wealthy and they therefore maintain the finest
dining house in the capital to showcase their wines and liquors. Mr. Wang was
well advised.”
“I know
EXACTLY who you mean. They’re a very dear family. They’re the best because they
love the taste of wine in all of its forms.” Silver Bird had just about
finished laughing herself out.
“Save the
lecture. Contemplating the maidenly virtues in a temple bamboo grove,” said
Silver Bird dismissively quoting Seven, “… my pretty pink ass. I think you were
contemplating the reconciliation of Yin and Yang in its most physical form. You
need to tell me what you did with this fellow now to put him in such a state.
As I recall now they brought the two of you up in a single cab. Were you
sitting on his lap?”
“Stop.”
“Face to
face? Or rather, crotch to crotch?”
“THAT is
none of your affair.”
“Interesting
choice of words.”
“Tell you
what, I will tell you everything if you promise to assist me in drafting and
then delivering my response.”
“Agreed!
This is going to be good,” Silver Bird cackled. “I just know it.”
The
Princess Seven was quite proud of herself as she delivered her proper court
greetings to each banquet guest as they passed before her. She was flanked by
her mother on the right and by Silver Bird on her left. Unfortunately her
memory faltered when a particular guest was presented whom she had forgotten
about.
“The Third
Son of the Duke of the Jewel River Valley, Wang Three,” announced the retainer.
The princess was jolted into the moment at that name. It was him. Tonight he
had on an even more eccentric robe than his red-and-white garment. This was of
turquoise and emerald green, not silk, but some elaborately dyed rough cloth.
He made his three deep bows. He made eye contact but he did not recognize Seven
for all of her makeup, headdress, and finery.
Three made
the customary ceremonial well wishes on behalf of his father. His eyes locked
onto Silver Bird’s for a moment. He was about to say something to her, but
moved on. Silver Bird reflexively gripped Seven’s hand tightly, but the
attendant was pleased that she had kept her face absolutely serene.
“Halt the
line for a moment,” said the Princess. “I need to rest just a bit.” She and
Silver Bird moved to an area curtained off. “I’m confused,” said Seven. “Why
would the Duke’s son send his retainer Three here passing him off as himself?
Do you think he’s at the gambling houses instead? We need to find out if anyone
can identify. The neighboring province,
the Western Expanse—the governor is here tonight. Perhaps he can send a man …”
“Seven you
idiot! You’re overanalyzing from the wrong direction. Three IS the Duke’s third
son.”
“Impossible.
Three would not deceive me.”
“He didn’t
lie about a thing. He didn’t even obscure his name. His name is “Three” by God.
What more proof do you want?”
“But he kept
talking about the Duke as if he were a stranger, not his father. And his
clothes were common.”
“You call
your father ‘the Emperor.’ As for clothes? That red-and-white robe I saw him
in? Not common. Reminds me of something I saw the Malaccan royal ambassador
wearing. AND, I might add, you have quite the collection of common clothes
yourself as I recall.”
“Yes, but
that’s different. I only have those so I can talk to people who would not
ordinarly speak to … hmmmm.”
“The most
clever Princess Seven has evidently met her match.”
Seven
quickly shifted her mood. “We’re changing plans for tomorrow. I have to think
about this. I will excuse myself from the fourth course and we will
strategize—oh! But that’s the duck and goose course! The sauces from the rendered
fat! And the aspic! I’m going to miss them—sigh, it can’t be helped. I need a
scribe who can be trusted to stay quiet and you need to put our nosiest maid,
two if possible, at his station and tell her we need to know everything he says
and does. Tell her we think he’s a spy. Oh, Three! I just want to go over and
sit next to him and ask what he’s up to. Do you think he’s a cad? Or a gigolo?
We need to find out everything about him.”
“As you
wish, Your Highness,” said Silver Bird. “You surprise me.”
“Oh?”
“You are
finally acting like a princess.”
Later that
evening, the attendant Mama Horse, a matronly servant in her 40s of lifelong
palace service was brought to Silver Bird to make her report. She brought along
the maid that served alongside her that evening.
“Mr. Wang
was seated with deaf old Lady Tang on his right and the 14-year-old mental
defective girl Fart Toad on his left. How he managed to carry on
‘conversations,’ if you can call them that, is something of a miracle. I would
call them more like detached responses. Or that he drew pictures for the little
dummy girl. He has the patience of a temple priest, I’ll give him that. Whom
did he insult to get that seating?”
“It’s his
first capital visit,” said Silver Bird. “He’s working his way up. Did you have
to leave at any time?”
“I was
there mostly the entire time. Fart Toad slobbers and spills on herself
constantly, so I got her father and mother, the professor and his wife, to let
me sit behind her and attend to her clean, for which they were grateful. I got
another girl to take my wait position, so I heard everything, not that it was
helpful to you.”
“Please
continue your report,” said Silver Bird.
“Mr. Wang
tried asking her, Fart Toad, about her studies, but the poor thing just blushed
and hunched herself over whenever he would say anything to her. She wet herself
a couple of times and I took her out to clean her up. That was the only time I
left the hall. Her family brings her changes of clothes whenever they go out.
And these absolutely smelly and horrible cushions that … well I need not go on.
She was given a big platter on which she arranged her food into the shape of a
large labyrinth through which she would work her peas.
“Mr. Wang
then requested a napkin and some ink and a pen, and he drew a maze supposedly
found in an ancient Greek palace that a foreign sailor had drawn for him. He
told her a story about a Greek maze and something about a tribute of young
people paid by a vassal state to some conquering state and all that. He thought
that the Chinese and the Greeks may be related since we both seem to love
meandering designs on our plates. That seemed to endear him to her and after
that she just held onto his arm and put her head on his shoulder the rest of
the night.
“His
explanation of the maze caught the attention of Fart Toad’s father who then
started to talk to him in some foreign gibberish for the rest of the evening. I
have no idea what they said, though they seemed to be having a nice time. The
poor professor and his wife had to pry their daughter off of Mr. Wang at the
end of the night, and that pitiful teenager went into a tantrum,” Mama Horse
finished up.
“I see,”
said Silver Bird. “How about on the other side? Lady Tang?”
“They were
an interestin’ pair those two sittin’ next to each other. Them in their foreign
dresses.”
“Lady Tang
wears kimonos. She is from Japan. His garment, at least the material, I would
identify as probably Siamese. Maybe from a trading partner?”
“I don’t
know about that, but initially Lady Tang only nodded at him and his attempts to
speak to her in OUR language. The professor pointed at her a couple of times,
at which point Mr. Wang asked for something to write on and was brought a stack
of old napkins. He scribbled some things that I have no idea what they were,
but they made her smile. I hardly never seen that. She evidently wrote in
response. She even said something. I’d never heard her voice before. I’d always
assumed she was mute.
“This
caught the attention of her husband retired Ambassador Tang and then THEY
started up in some different foreign gibberish. That’s about all I can tell
you,” said Mama Horse.
“Did you
keep the napkins?” asked Silver Bird.
“I have
them here. Fart Toad took her napkin with the maze on it.”
“Japanese
cursive,” said Silver Bird. “I don’t know this language well, but I think he
was asking after her family and hometown. Small talk as I would expect. And you
Maid Li? Do you have anything to add?”
“I know a
little of the southern dialect, My Lady. The professor and Mr. Wang were
speaking in it the entire evening. The professor said he had so little
opportunity to use it. Likewise I know a little Japanese. He and Ambassador and
Mrs. Tang were conversing in Japanese.”
“Maid Li
has been assigned to the professor and the ambassador in the past,” said Mama
Horse, “which is why I pulled her to work with me.”
“Excellent
choice Mama. Anything unusual other than small talk about family, work,
weather, that sort of thing?”
“Mr. Wang
corrected each of the older men about southern geography and receive events,
but he made them feel like they had corrected him.”
“He
corrected them in areas of their own expertise?”
“He did. It
was very interesting.”
“How did he
do it? They’re quite prideful old men those two.”
“He played
the fool is the best way I can say it. When each older man made a statement
that I could see Mr. Wang need to challenge, he made an outrageous or foolish
assertion to feint ignorance, but then slipped his correct observation as an
aside, nearly throwing it away, which the older men would grab and apparently
teach him with. It was quite transparent to me. I would say it’s almost a
wifely approach, but then I am a wife. I realized I do that myself, but not
with quite so much … style shall I say?”
“Li?” said
Mama Horse, “you caught all of that in those foreign tongues? Maybe you’re the international spy?”
“I’ll say
that I have relatives who have taught me. One other thing, the minister of
finance made a point to come over and see him after dinner.”
“Minister
Long,” said Silver Bird. “Really? Did you hear anything?”
“He said he
had tried to get Wang seated next to him talk about some matters but the
protocol officer would not allow it. Wang was evidently too junior a personage.
He wanted to meet Mr. Wang personally and requested that he set up a meeting
before he returned to the south. He said he wanted to remind him that it is
against our country’s law to collaborate with pirates in any way. He was
concerned about the staggering amount of tax remittances that the small backwater
port of the Jewel River Valley kept sending to the capital every few months,
which started coincidentally since Wang took over the treasury in his father’s
domain a couple years ago.”
“And since
when does a tax collector complain about too much tax coming in? The world is
going upside down,” said Mama Horse. “Did you know he keeps a miniature pig in
his office as a pet? He has us prep its meals.”
“Ahem,
anyway, he said he was suspicious that such a region could be prospering by any
means other than piracy, smuggling, or sales of contraband.”
“Wang’s
response?” ask Silver Bird.
“He invited
a delegation to come in and audit his records and contracts at any time. He
would set up interviews with all of his business partners as well if desired. Minister
Long asked if the Duke would be asking to install a military garrison in the
near future. Wang answered that it would be up to his father, but he thought
that the presence of a garrison would deter business and trade rather than
protect it. Minister Long said it was exactly that kind of stance that is
drawing his attention. Wang said he would be happy to discuss his theories on
economic growth when they met.”
“And then?”
“He said he
would be damned before he let any dark-skinned, backwoods, Han whippersnapper
lecture him on international commerce or maritime trading.”
“My!
Defensive wasn’t he?”
“Wang
apologized if had given the impression that he knew more than the Imperial
Finance Minister. He said all he knew is what worked in his father’s valley
domain. But he invited him to check his references with the Civil Service Test
Examiners and that he was quite aware of current scholarship on economics. And
you know what?”
“Go ahead.”
“He quoted
Long’s own Treatise on Fiscal Governance
back at him. Something like ‘The optimal practice to ensure a fully functioning
state would be best achieved not by annual remittance on the antiquated harvest
schedule, but upon quarterly earnings. And blessed and pious is the superior
man who does so by duty and not by threat of force or promise of corrupt gain.’
Wang said that while his neighbors did not so practice, it was a principle by
which he chose to organize the Jewel River Valley finances. He then got down on
his knees and kowtowed, placing his forehead on the floor before the minister.”
“My Heaven!
Where did all this happen? This was quite the political dustup! I didn’t see
it,” asked Silver Bird.
“Out in the
courtyard, where the litters were being organized for pickups. It was dark.
Torchlit. Only a few saw it. Many heard it though.”
“What else
happened? Did you stay nearby?”
“Oh after
that I HAD to linger. I wasn’t going to miss a thing. Minister Long ordered
Wang to his feet and told him to contact his secretary for an appointment as
soon as possible. An then he walked away briskly. Several of the Han literati
started to gather about Wang and introduce themselves, but he thought it best
not to be potentially associated with the more subservice elements in the
capital and he excused himself. Mr. Wang is young, but he seems wise beyond his
years. I mean, none of the men I consider his peers are about. They all tend to
spend their nights getting drunk at the gambling houses.”
“Is there
anything else? Anybody else come up to him? I almost hate to ask.”
“No. He met
his retainers, a large porter who looks like a wrestler, and an older
gentleman, and they walked off into the night.”
“Do you
know where they are staying?”
“I think
they are staying on his ship. There are no lodgings to be found in the
capital.”
“Excellent
work ladies. You are dismissed,” and Mama Horse and Maid Li left. Silver Bird
pulled aside a curtain. “Interesting fellow you have there Seven. I don’t think
he’s going to forget your party ever. Do you think Long counts him as an ally
or an enemy?”
“I’ve never
met a scholar who wasn’t a sucker for a disciple who prostrates himself,” said
Seven blandly. “Scholars are SO arrogant.”
“Too bad
you’re already betrothed. Someone who attracts trouble like Wang would be
perfect for you.”
“Oh shut it,”
said Seven. “Did you get the letter deployed to the Evergreen Inn?”
“The runner
said he put it in the owner’s hands himself. I want you to know I’m even more
opposed to this scheme of yours now. You’re simply toying with him.”
“Don’t
start. Do you think we can find a family that will lodge him?”
“I’ll ask
my father. We have space.”
“You will
NOT,” snapped Seven. “He is not going to spend any night under the same roof as
you or your sisters. You are ALL too pretty! Find someplace else!” Her tone was
harsh and fierce.
“There are
still many families socializing here yet. I’ll find someone. Seven? Your
Highness? I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“I’m sorry.
I’m so tired Silvie. It’s been a beastly long day. I’m ready to cry.” Her mood
quickly shifted to tired and wistful. “Tell me, is it so wrong for a girl to
want to know what it’s like to have an admirer? Just once, before she has to
get married? It’s never happened before. Don’t you have admirers?”
“I refuse to give answers that only
serve to embarrass me.” She pulled Seven over onto her breast and cuddled her.
“Oh my dear one, if only it were any of the noble men our age in this town, I’d
say they deserve it. But Three seems like a good person.”
“Well of course he’s good. He’s in
love with ME isn’t he? Yawn. I’m going to bed. Please wake me up in time for us
to get to the Evergreen. Don’t worry. I’ll work out all the details in my
dreams. It’ll be a lark.”
© 2012 by Vincent Way,
all rights reserved.
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Be truthful and frank, but be polite. If you use excessive profanity, I'll assume you have some kind of character flaw like Dr. Wong. Tks!